I’ve lived a few years on planet earth.
At least a quarter of a century!
I’ve also subjected my mind to quite a number of inquistive quests…
Here’s one of my findings:
I hate what I hate.
and one thing I hate is reliving a past pain or error.
To be honest, I think everyone hates it, or at least should.
So many times I’ve met with people (including myself) who have found themselves doing the things they don’t want to.
You know that moment when you look at life in retrospect and you can categorically say: I’m better than this.
However, time and time again, you’re back in the same pit you said ‘Never again’ to.
Most times, when such a gist as I’m sharing comes up, the first thought in so many minds race back to some obvious bad habits (you know them).
But I think it’s far deeper. Here’s why.
Every lasting result we produce in life is as result of a lifestyle.
Nothing which lasts happens just like that: even poverty.
At this point, let me piece it together…
So what has lifestyle got to do with reliving past pain or error?
Lifestyle is a person’s default and predominant way of doing and interpreting things.
It is the printed version or manifestation of the mindset.
If nothing happens to my lifestyle, my result will remain set to default & repeat.
Sadly or fortunately as the case may be, this result is regardless of what you do. Whatsoever your hands find to do will inevitably print your default result, and repeat.
In my search, I recognized this trend… and my whole attention moved to a simple question, which is the topic of this post? How do I install and maintain a new lifestyle.
As beautiful as knowledge of laws and principles are, they are useless when they’re not a lifestlye.
This is why a three year old child can take a selfie with a mobile device, without any knowledge of the laws guiding the result. They simply did what they saw you do!
Your lifestyle helped the child adopt a lifestyle which produces results for them.
From my search, here’s my ultimate three components of installing and maintaining a lifestyle in order of priority:
1. COMMUNITY: My brother, my sister, my friend, you need community! As long as your goal is to imbibe and maintain a lifestyle over the longterm, then you must pursue being an active, yielding, open-minded member of a community.
Here are a few things to note about community:
- In a community, you don’t choose your lifestyle. It swallows you. So long as you’re open to the ideas (hence a true member), you don’t have a choice. Time will reveal your absolute transformation.
- Whether you like it or not, right now, you’re recieving ideas from a community. That community could the Facebook list of people who’s posts you always see; or your immediate family, or some artiste always singing into your ears. As Fela Durotoye once said paraphrasing, whoever has your eartime shapes your life.
Community is the easiest way to painlessly transit lifestyle.
Community makes your “new” lifestyle look so normal.
Community provides you the support and resources at very affordable rates (I don’t mean money alone).
Community makes your limitations fade into thin air; you see many ahead of you, and many still far behind you.
Now having said this, Good communities that actually function in installing and maintaining a lifestyle are often hard to find.
If you find one… hold on to it for dear life (HODL 😀 )
Also, although communities come first, the very next thing is
Communities install and maintain lifestyles, mentors fast track the whole process.
I don’t want to talk too much about mentors… but a few things to note:
Find mentors who depict the lifestyle you want. Simple.
The best of a mentee is his mentor (in that area).
If you like how I smile hehehehe…
and it reflects the future you want…
Then follow me, and I’ll make you Ismaila! 😀
You must however note that there’s always be a rub off of other aspects of the mentors life in your life apart from your core reason for following. So choose your mentors wisely.
If you follow a mentor for finances (for instance) who curses a whole lot, you’ll soon lose touch with the fact that cursing is informal. Choose your mentors wisely!
Your mentors should be accessible to you if possible, or have a large enough body of work to learn from.
It would be difficult to claim being mentored by Dangote if you’re not in the family or top management of Dangote Group, or at least a staff member of the company. My brother, how is he mentoring you?
So as community provides you with support, resource and more, a mentor guides and points you in a direction much more specifically.
Your mentor hears your perspective and suggests (well, instructs in some cases) the best next step for you.
Your lifestyle will conform in any community, but it will conform faster if you have someone within the community who can lift you up based on your unique pathway.
But nothing does the magic of stronger than…
3. Personal Study and Prayers.
I know by default, many people will think this should come first… but I can tell you quite honestly from experience and study of biographies… this matters last.
There’s nothing to see if you’re not shown. Selah.
I call this my bias… we’re all entitled to our biases.
When you study without direction, you find nothing.
If you fight the lifestyle change fight alone, you either end up with unnecessary injuries, and/or a battered, unbalanced perspective of the hardship in life.
When you hear things like life is very hard… just know that you’ve found someone guessing their way through things by studying alone without community or mentors.
Now though personal study and prayers is the last, it is the most important.
You commit to study what your community studies… you pray and declare what your community prays and declares.
Personal study and prayers is what seals the final layer of lifestyle installation and maintenance.
You begin to own the ideologies.
You begin to comprehend your process and results in a meaningful way…
You begin to exhibit/demonstrate the fullest dimension of the lifestyle.
So whether it’s a financial lifestyle, a family lifestyle, a personal lifestyle, a spiritual lifestyle, a health lifestyle, or any other lifestlye…
You need a community, mentor(s), and personal study/prayers to install and/or maintain the lifestyle.
If you miss any, life will be hard(er).
Now all of the above are quite meaningless if you don’t know what you really want. Deep down in each of us is a yearning for what we want, but we must all take time to sit down, identify and write down what we want. I call it #GetClear step.
When you’re clear about what you want, you can then identify the right community(s)…which points you to the right mentors in the community, who points you to the right/specific study and prayers.
I end this by inviting you to the High Performers’s Newtork. A community of young, vibrant, and enterprising men and women, committed to living their best life! Use link to join: bit.ly/HPNetwork
God bless you.